On the Subject of Who Owes Who What.
When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives...Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another, keep each other warm, share our strengths. - George R.R. Martin (A Song of Ice and Fire).
I think one of the reasons why that "no one owes you anything" is mostly misunderstood is because we think of it in terms of money. But essentially, we owe people more than money. The moment that idea is looked at in a holistic sense, you start to understand that you owe people and people owe you. A lot, in fact.
One of the many reasons, while a people's dignity and humanity are not respected and often trampled upon, is because we all have become solipsistic to the point that once our own humanity and dignity are affirmed, we do not care about anyone else's.
You can trace the history of conflicts in the world and they mostly started with the idea that we do not owe each other human decency. It is why sociocultural conflicts are prevalent everywhere especially in a place like Nigeria. Politicians feel they don't owe you anything, so you're treated like subjects. This attitude is reminiscent of the behaviors in our cross-cultural misunderstanding. You owe people common decency. You owe them respect; the need to respect their humanness. Imagine the good Samaritan just waltz by without helping the person in need.
When you extend these things to family units, you begin to understand how insane it is to just say "I do not owe anyone anything". Let's do some natalism. The blanket thought that you owe no one covers your parents. They gave you life, the best of what they could, etc. Understandable if you say "I do not owe my father or mother anything" because of XYZ. Even this is not acceptable in certain religions and cultures.
Stop thinking when people say you owe them something, it is all about your money. Sometimes or even many times, it is not. You owe certain people kindness, compassion, and decency.
Some people will abuse it but you must understand that you still owe people. Maybe not everyone. One of the reasons we were created to belong to units like families is because of the necessary chain-like relationship. You can cut off a bad hook in the chain and replace it with another but you still need to be connected.
I feel many people do not believe that they can be in the position that they will be in dire need of others, and that's why they are quick to say "I do not owe anyone anything". The instability of seasons is why an Ifa priest consults the oracle every four days. Nonetheless, you don't need to understand this before you understand that the nature of our existence is essentially symbiotic, and complementary.
A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together in the moonlit village ground it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so. - Chinua Achebe.
When it comes to family and friends, "I do not owe anyone anything" is a euphemism for "you lazy good for nothing should let me be". Well, to each its own. However, it is pertinent to know that owing people do not mean you need to give them money, and what if it is?! The notion that people who seek for your help are lazy, layabouts, and good-for-nothings is twisted generalized reasoning.
Those whose palm kernels were cracked for them by a benevolent spirit should not forget to be humble. - Chinua Achebe.
May we not desperately need people before we realize that people owe us and we owe them as well.
This subject has its many sides. I picked one of the sides. I have written on medium before about being kind indiscriminately.
If you do not agree with me, that’s fair. But I’ve written what I think, what I strictly adhere to, and what I think will make your corner of the world better CETERIS PARIBUS.
